Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Lord is with me... us

Before I begin, Dakota is need lots of prayers tonight. She's back in the PICU and on a vent and sedated. Tomorrow is Kayleigh's funeral/memorial service. For those unable to attend (it's in North Carolina) the family is asking that at 4pm, where ever you are that you release pink balloons into the sky to float away, and on the balloons please write the following:
On Sunday (May 17th), at 4:00PM(EST) after the memorial, we will be letting off pink balloons in Kayleigh's name. Tied to each balloon will be a card that reads:
Kayleigh Anne Freeman
Our One Pound Miracle from God
(6/23/08 - 5/11/09)
On to me. The past 48 hrs have indescribable. Thursday I remember not feeling well that day and I was "taking it easy" and had taken a nap. After waking up, I went into my kitchen to get something to eat. All of a sudden I felt very faint, I remember trying to get into the living room to sit, but didn't make it. I fainted and fell face first on to my tiled floors. I blacked out, and came to about 5 min. later. When I came to I realized I was laying in a pool of blood. I had hit my teeth and bit my lip in the fall. I laid there for a few mins to come to and see if anything was broken and if I could stand up. I got up, found my phone and called 911. The paramedics came and when they took my blood pressure it was in the low 80's (not good). They loaded me into the ambulance and off we went to the hospital. On the ride over, I called my pastor and he met me at the hospital. I also called one of my aunt's ( my mom is out of town taking care of another one of her sister's who is sick and can't be left alone). My aunt arrived shortly after I did. I had 25 x-rays done and 2 CAT scans, they could find nothing wrong. My BP never got above 100 ( still not good), but they let me go home anyways. Other than being sore and bruised, I had no other injuries. But, they also never determined why I fainted. Thursday night, I spent the night and another one of my aunt's houses, so I wouldn't be alone if something happened. I spent all of Friday morning resting at my grandmother's house ( my aunt took her to the Dr). When my aunt brought my grandmother back home, she took me back to my house.
I was not back to 100% normal on Friday. I had only been home for about a hour Friday afternoon, when 2 things happened. One, I was flushing my feeding tube ( a new one that was put in last week) and while flushing it, it broke in half and slid out. (that wasn't suppose to happen). After the tube came out, I had another fainting spell. This time I didn't fall, because I was sitting in a chair, but I did black out. Because the tube came out I only had a 1-2 hour window to put a new one in, before the hole would start to close. Knowing I couldn't drive, I called 911 again, and got another ride to the ER. This time my BP was all over the place. It would drop into the 80's or spike into the 150's ( not good either). I had more tests done, labs taken, etc, but the Dr.'s still could find no reason for my fainting spells. My tube was a whole different story. Because too much time had passed, almost 5 hrs, the hole was already closed (or so I thought). At 10pm the radiology team came and got me and took me to radiology and tried to put a new, smaller, the 1st size tube in. I was awake, but also fully sedated. The surgery was a success on the 1st try and I didn't think that it would be, and we would have to go the long way (open surgery) to put it back in. I was released at midnight to my aunt, who brought me home, and I've been home alone ever since.
I have been fine today, but have slept most of the day. I am sore from surgery and my fall. I have an appt. first thing Monday morning with my reg. Dr. to see if she/ we can figure out what is going on. This sort of thing has NEVER happened before, so we are quite confused. This morning 2 of my aunts, 1 uncle, and my grandmother left to go on vacation to New Mexico. My mom is still out of town, taking care of her sister, and God is taking care of me today.
But, I want to say that all of last night I was in constant communication (texting) with the members of my Community Group, and although they could not be with me physically, I knew that they were praying for me constantly. I had one member from my group who visited for about a hour, but the rest of the members were VERY supportive of me. I thank God for them and what they did for me last night. I have gotten several e-mails and texts from them today checking in on me too.
I had a little bit of "free" time right before my surgery and I was really freaking out, so I pulled out my Bible and started reading scripture. I started reading the 23rd Psalm, but then I found this passage:
Psalm 91: 14-16
"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
I started reading it and praying it, and I felt this intense peace about my surgery, as I was in the room and being prepped.
I have learned or re-learned that the LORD is ALWAYS with us. The verse above says it all. So many times I think that we get too busy in our lives and when something goes wrong we think that the Lord has left us. But that is far from the truth. In our weakest times and moments, that is when Christ is at HIS strongest. And all we have to do is ask. Not even that, just believe that God is always with us and He never leaves us or forsakes us. He promises us that.
Please keep me in your prayers. Pray that the Dr.'s can figure out what is going on and what is causing my health problems. My mom comes home tomorrow. My appt is Monday morning.
Please keep Dakota and Kayleigh's family in your prayers as well.

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