Saturday, May 23, 2009

Hell Weekend

So, my previous post finally got the better of me and I had a complete nervous breakdown yesterday afternoon.
And since I'm pretty sure not very many people read this blog I'm going to share some of my more important secrets.
I am human. Things right now are BAD for me. I am being honest and opening my heart, which is something that I don't normally do. I have reached my breaking point, and if life throws me another curve ball, I honestly don't think that I will be able to handle it.
First off, I am REALLY struggling this weekend with my depression and bi-polar disorder. And after being told yesterday in the ER that no psych hospital will take me because of my medical issues, I wanted to scream. I have had 3 panic attacks within less than 24 hrs. This morning after my dad bailed on me again, after promising to come over and help with "guy" things around the house I threw my phone at the wall. To say that I was PISSED would be an understatement.
Secondly, I had to put on a fentanyl pain patch ( I haven't need one in 6+ months) on, because the other pain med is doing nothing on the small dose that I am on, and I am running VERY low on my pain pills and other than waiting a week to see a new Dr. that might give me more pain meds the only other way to get more is to get admitted to the hospital.

So, in conclusion, I am having the weekend from HELL. I don't know how this weekend is going to end, up or down, in the hospital or not.

To anyone that actually reads this I need all the prayers that I can get. Prayers for my safety, prayers that my meds will kick in and start working, prayers that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.


Carla said...

Emily, I for one read your blog and am so sorry things are bad for you right now. I am thinking of you and praying for you.

The Lee Family said...

I'm so sorry things are not going well for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Blair said...

I'm so sorry for your troubles right now. What a nightmare you are going through. I will pray for you and send good thoughts your way.

Lindsey said...

I can't even imagine all that you've gone through and are going through, but I want you to know that I will pray for you. Hang on to God's promises. Sometimes that's all that can be done.