Update on Life

Last week was a really crappy week because I had 2 really good "leads" as far as medical stuff goes.
The first was for a local health clinic, and the second was an appt. with a local surgeon that does a fairly new surgery that would help me stomach.
The first fell through, because I don't make enough money. A person has to make $1,300 a month, and my disability checks are only $528 a month.
The appt. with the surgeon fell through because they wouldn't accept me because I don't have insurance. And my normal surgeon doesn't do that sort of surgery.
But also during this past week, I have been in alot of pain, especailly when eating, and because of that I have lost 10lbs in 1 week.
The only and last chance is to go back to my reg. surgeon and see if he will put a new feeding tube in. But, the entire reason why I stopped doing tube feeds was because it hurt too much.
When I was in the ER in December the ER Gastro. Dr came to the conclusion that I need to have exploratory surgery in my digestive tract to see what was going on and causing all the pain and trouble eating.
I don't know if my reg. surgeon would do that.

So, I am at a dead end road. And I'm sick of this. I want my old life back and I don't want to keep being sick. And we are coming up on 1 year of dealing with this, still with NO answers.
I have no friends, and I'm so lonely. I haven't been to church in 6 months and I miss it so bad. I have no church family that would do "church famly" things because I was in the middle of switching churches before I got sick. I don't want to spend time with the family, because every family function revolves around eating, and I CAN'T DO THAT!!!
I feel that no matter how many people pray, I keep getting worse. I don't have any energy to get out of the house because I can't eat, but yet my mom harps on me to get out of the house, but when I try, I run out of stamina quickly.

I don't know what else to ask people to pray for that hasn't already been prayed for. I just know that I can't keep go like this much longer.

Please just pray that something will change.